Today's topic: Kingdom Hearts 2.
First off, I'd like to state that I absolutely LOVED the first Kingdom Hearts game. It was amazing. The first time I played it, my mind was blown at how good it was. The idea of taking a random hero, sending him on a journey to defeat creatures called "The Heartless", and travelling to DISNEY MOVIE WORLDS to defeat them was like one gigantic mindgasm of awesome. It took me quite a bit to beat it the first time through, but it was worth it...aside from the whole Sephiroth raping me and ripping me a new one in the Platinum Cup....yeah....
Anyways, when I heard about the second Kingdom Hearts, I was actually pretty excited. I mean, now you have to fight TWO armies of evil!? And there's MORE Disney goodness!? FUCK YES. SIGN ME UP....then I started playing.
THE BAD:
1. The Intro Level. Jesus. Christ. I spent well over an hour and a half of game time stuck in this idiotic intro loop. Now, if you haven't played the spin-off game Chain of Memories (WHICH I HAVEN'T) then a few things in the intro don't even make too much sense. Mainly, the whole, SORA IS FROZEN IN TIME RIGHT BESIDE WALT DISNEY (Note, the Walt Disney ref is a joke alright? He isn't in the game. xD) thing. So instead, you start out as Roxas. (Hint hint: SORA X) who lives with a stereotypical group of anime kids. Hooray. Now, I kinda like Roxas. I like the idea that when Sora is turned into a Heartless in the first game (Long story, look it up) he gets a Nobody as well. Roxas is that Nobody. Annnd instead of fighting invincible Heartless at the start, you fight invincible Nobodies....ugh...my main problem with the intro stage is that it's WAAAAAAAAAY too long compared to Destiny Islands, and it seems like the only reason they created the place was to shove in some Anime parodies for the Wiiaboos.
2. The Action Commands. This was my second main problem, the action commands take a game that could have required strategy and thought, and dumbed it down into one long timing puzzle. Seriously, name ONE boss fight in KH2 that didn't involve mashing the triangle button to deal RIDICULOUS amounts of damage. The action commands ruined the game for me. It made the fight with the Hydra from Hercules easier than it should have been. And that's just wrong....oh, and speaking of timing puzzles...
3. ATLANTICA. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? Back in KH1 Atlantica was the standard Underwater annoying level with standard stereotype enemies....now...well, let me give it to you straight. Y'know that nice keyblade you were hoping to shove up Ursala's ass this time around? Yeah. You can't even use it. There's no attack option in this area. Instead, all of the events in this area are orcestrated (LITERALLY) by some sons that play in each "Chapter" of the level. As you gain new abilities Sebastian (WHO'S DA MON BTW.) allows you to proress through the stage some more. Think of this area as one big DDR/simon says world. I will give the designer's credit though, the songs are very well orchestrated and even Sora seems to have a somewhat decent singing voice.
4. The Nobodies making the Heartless their bitches. I love the Heartless. They're dark, cartoony, and they have an amazing range of designs depending on what level you encounter them on....the only problem is that they're pussies in this game. Yeah. The Heartless are like the wild animals from the reserve. The Nobodies however, are decked out SO much, that the weakest ones can literally pwn entire groups of Heartless in one hit. This pissed me off to no end. In KH1 the Heartless were ABSOLUTE BEASTS, and didn't take shit from ANYONE, not even from MALEFICENT. DAMN. But no, thanks to the Nobodies (And Maleficent's inability to keep them under fucking control) the Heartless are total jokes in this game after the first half.
5. Organization XIII. I only have one reason for why this group was included. To appeal to the otaku and anime fiends. These guys are the main focus, not the Disney villains. They stal the fucking show. My main problem is that they're obviously anime humans. Why couldn't they be anthro or larger intelligent versions of the Nobody's they control!? That way, Roxas would stand out more, and would have even MORE credibility as a Nobody that defects from the group! Seriously kids, I hated this group. I love their theme, love the idea, hate the way they went with it. Hell, I could live with the whole Xenmas thing, it makes sense. But an ENTIRE GROUP OF HUMANOID NOBODY BOSSES? Ugh...just...just forget it...
6. The Levels: All the Disney elements are skimmed over in this game. In KH1 the Disney refs were so blatantly obvious that it actually made you love the company all over again. But, in KH2 they seem to care more about FINAL FANTASY characters. Okay, KH1 had a couple, but KH2? Ugh, it actually makes Sephiroth a fucking plot point near the middle of the game. As soon as I saw Cloud being all emo in Hallow Bastion, I knew I was in for another anime ref filled good time....*Vomits*. Ugh...okay, now...like I said, the levels are skimmed over. You go to most of them twice: Once to kill Heartless. Second to kill Nobodies. The only exceptions I can think of are Halloween Town, Atlantica, The Hundred Acre Wood, Space Paranoids, and The Pridelands. They should have put more time into the levels like they did in KH1, that way you'd get more from the stage then just: "GET TO THE BOSS. KILL HIM. LEAVE. COME BACK. KILL THE NEXT BOSS. LEAVE FOR GOOD." Oh, and I love how in the Agrabah stage I basically sped through a mix of plots from Aladdin and Aladdin The Return of Jafar in about half an hour.
7. Difficulty: Too easy. I'll be honest though, I played on the Beginner's setting...so I might change this one later.
8. THE RIDING SHIT. I DON'T LIKE SKATEBOARDS. I DON'T LIKE VEHICLE FIGHTS. END OF STORY.
9. Riku....or Ansem.....or...Ranusem? THis plot point made BARELY any sense. Besides, he turns back to normal almost right after you learn it's him so....hooray?
10. The Keyholes. In KH1, when you found the Keyhole, the level was done. 'Nuff said. But no, in KH2, even after you seal the Keyhole you STILL have shit to do. I honestly think that they should have just stuck to the original plot, instead of adding all this Nobody and second visit BS.
THE GOOD:
1. Lion Sora. I love this idea, it's cute, it makes Sora 3x faster, and it's a clever way to integrate Sora with the rest of the Lion King world. Apparantly, they wre going to do this in KH1, but they couldn't get the model for four legged fighting right just yet.
2. Sora Himself. He's actually grown up from his oriinal almost emo state in KH1. Seriously, he had hardly and cringe worthy lines such as: "We have this awesome spaceship that we fly around in" or something along those lines. I really like the new voice actor too, since it actually sound like Sora's grown up a bit...speaking of which.
3. Voice Acting. It's damn good as always....except for Scar. But aside from that, I give tops marks to this catagory.
4. The Heartless Designs. FUCKING AWESOME. In KH1 the Heartless only seemed to change deoending on what level they were in. In KH2 their appearences eveolved drastically, and even some awesome new Heartless were born, like the Toy Soldiers and Graveyards! 83
5. Halloween and Christmas Town. This level was easily my favourite. Not just because I'm a Tim Burton fan, but also because the idea of Heartless toys and Maleficent trying to turn Santa into a Heartless is epic in it's own scary way.
6. SCROOGE MCDUCK.
7. The Hundred Acre Wood. This is a really nice and sweet level. I honsestly felt a bit of sadness after completeing this stage completely, moslty because, hell, it's Winnie the Pooh. Aside from that, I could actually find the fucking pages this time around, and you had to actually complete them in order to beat the stage.
8. The Ending. It seems to end on a cliffhanger....which means that there COULD be a KH3....but with all the prequals they're creating I seriously doubt it at this point.
All in all, I didn't like it as much as the first. They seriously watered down everything to make room for their idiotic anime-style Nobody plot. It just doesn't seem as great as the first. Sorry kids. :<
Overall: 8.5/10
It could have been a lot better.
-JokerzTheFox
*Hand bursts up from the Ground*
Miserable
Neglect
